Talking Pet

Wednesday, April 2, 2014/Categories: Entries

First of all let me say that today marks 6 months since my infamous first date with Sparky. Thanks in large part to Heather Smith Tucker I have not yet swung the wrecking ball at this's a long story -- if you know me well -- you totally understand my intense personality -- if you only know from reading this, well you can only imagine what a peach I am.

If you ask Sparky - he would tell you that I am sweet! For those of you that are now choking on something - if no one else is around you can throw your sternum against a solid object and perform a self induced heimlich maneuver --- ok -- I just had to figure out how to spell that - so I looked up "what to do if choking" it started talking about getting behind a person and doing thrusts -- I guess you can throw yourself against the corner of the table, or get someone to fuck you in the ass -- either way -- totally up to you!

So on to my talking pet --- she is a Congo African Grey and her name is Sammie -- she refers to herself as Sammie Girl and she calls my dog named Charlie, Chuckles. She just said "Chuckles you're a bad whore"

She also drops the F bomb quite a bit - which is dicey when you are trying to get people to look at and buy your home.......and you have a parrot that is sitting there, greets you nicely and then says "Fuck, fuck, mother fucker". Well hopefully someone with a sense of humor will buy the place. My realtor says she has greeted people but refrained from using vulgar language. That a girl!

I will fill you in on her more at another time!

The Gym Bitch

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