Ok – a couple of people may get the joyful surprise of my gift taken from them here – but I am taking a break from “gifting” to write this tonight! 

I try very hard to give all of my service providers a little something during the holidays – and quite frankly what says “Joy” more than liquor.  So several people will be getting some form of liquor. I mean come on!!  You can use it to cook with, you can enjoy a little bubbly with someone special, you can serve wine with a holiday meal, you can do shots in the laundry room to get through the family bullshit, you can get your co-worker that you’ve been wanting to bang liquored up and under the mistletoe – the possibilities are endless – it is the gift that can keep on giving! Make sure you know what you might be getting from that co-worker before you do this – disease, craziness, you have to think before you drink. 

Now this is not appropriate for all of your service providers – but for some it works out great!  One or two of them might even invite you to get drunk with them. 

Here are the folks that should be on your Christmas list if they are regular providers – I am very loyal to my peeps:

Hairdresser

Cleaning people

Garbage haulers

Newspaper Carrier

Nail Technician

Esthetician – you may have more than one, maybe one for facial things and maybe one for your nether regions.

Tattoo Artist 

If you need pointers on what is appropriate for any of these people just ask – I will tell you – my etiquette happens to be pretty damn good.  My grandmother made sure we all had the latest etiquette book handy.  So while I swear like a sailor – or maybe more like a French whore, I do know what is appropriate. This reminds me of a funny story……….. 

Back in my shop one day, one of my guys was furious at a co-worker and yelled “Suck my French dick” at him.  The guy that had been yelled at looked at me and said “What the hell is that?” To which I replied “It’s like a white dick, only smaller!”  So in one evening you get etiquette and a way to diffuse a hostile situation. 

I also learned that in addition to a founding member of Team Jen, there is at least one other person on the planet that yells “chicken fucker” when they are mad.  I have not met this person yet (I know his grandson) but I love him already!!

Merry Christmas Chicken Fuckers – if you don’t like that you can suck my French dick!

I’m starting to feel the spirit move me!

Love,

The Gym Bytch