Just the other evening my mother and one of my aunts and I were sitting around the fire pit and discussing the lost art of Haiku.  I have no idea why – I had already been to one other gathering and was about half in the bag. 

Anyway today in my local area paper The News-Gazette, they have a tiny corner called C-U Haiku, edited by Lee Gurga.  The haiku (not a haiku at all by definition) was written by Sida Li:

                                    leaves falling

                                    in the chill wind

                                    morning laziness

That is not a haiku!!  A haiku, by definition is:  A Japanese poem of seventeen syllables, in three lines of five, seven and five, traditionally evoking images of the natural world.   The above musing is 3-4-5……….that, Mr. Gurga, is no haiku – and you are at fault as the editor for publishing it as such.

  I will next be writing a letter to the News Gazette, as this is the second time this week they have offended my sensibilities – the first occurred on Thursday when the coverage of the World Series – the fucking World Series Championship game had a tiny banner on the front of sport and then a short AP article on the third page of the sports section – are you fucking kidding me??  This series also included a pitching feat that has only been accomplished for the fourteenth time since 1903…………..page 3???? 

Here is a haiku, describing an image of the natural world:

Enormous penis

Hanging in front of his balls

A sight to behold

Love,

The Gym Bytch